Openai/694465ca-0a54-8004-846e-746cb4519c4c

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gpt-5-2

User: can you pls translate this to english?

can you pls translate this to english?

Ulazi čovjek u trgovinu, a unutra situacija: prodavačica plače, ispričava se svim silama, a čovjek stoji kraj pulta i viče: – Pizda ti materina, u životu neću više kročiti ovamo. Ima da se žalim gazdi, ima da letiš s posla, jesi li me čula? – i izleti van. Ovaj koji je upravo ušao priđe djevojci, a ova, čim ga primijeti počne brisati suze i uz usiljen osmijeh kaže: – Izvolite. Čovjek je pita jel’ treba pomoć ili što, a ona uz osmijeh odgovara: – Neka hvala, sve je u redu, izvolite. – Mogu li dobiti jednu kovertu? – Svakako. Koja veličina? Imamo standardne, veće, manje… – Običnu, molim vas. – A koju boju? Imamo plave, žute, crvene, bijele, zelene, narančaste… – Molim vas dajte plavu, ali brzo, jer autobus samo što nije krenuo, zakasnit ću. – A koju plavu? Imamo pariško plave, blijedo, tamno, morsko plavu… – Molim te običnu plavu, ali brže. – A koji oblik? Imamo u obliku srca, trokuta, kruga… – Molim vas običnu četverokutnu kovertu, ali brže, autobus već kreće. Donese plavu kovertu i kaže: – A da vam ne treba možda markica? – Treba, daj jednu. I gleda autobus kako odlazi. – A za unutarnji ili vanjski promet? – Unutarnji, molim vas. – A koju ćete? Imamo sa likom ljudi, životinje, razne prirodne ljepote, znakove… – Molim vas, brže, dajte životinju. – A koju ćete? Imamo: sisavce, ptice, gmazove, kukce… – Molim vas ptice. – Imamo grabežljivice, selice, letačice… – Molim vas, grabežljivicu, ali brzo! – Imamo orla, sokola, lešinara, … – Molim vas orla. – Imamo surog, američkog… – Molim vas surog orla. – Imamo ga kako hrani mlade, kako leti, kako sjedi u gnijezdu… – Dajte kako leti molim vas. – Imamo kako leti iznad kanjona, iznad mora… – Dajte bilo koju što prije. U tom trenutku ulazi čovjek s početka ovog vica i nosi govno u ruci. Prilazi pultu, pogleda prodavačicu, baci govno na pult i kaže: – EVO, PIČKA TI MATERINA, ZA OVAKVO GOVNO MI TREBA WC PAPIR!

Assistant: Sure 🙂 Here’s a faithful English translation, keeping the tone and profanity as in the original joke:

Sure 🙂 Here’s a faithful English translation, keeping the tone and profanity as in the original joke:

A man walks into a shop, and inside there’s a scene: the saleswoman is crying, apologizing profusely, while a man is standing by the counter yelling:

“Fuck your mother, I will never set foot in here again in my life. I’m going to complain to the owner, you’re getting fired, did you hear me?” — and he storms out.

The man who has just entered approaches the girl, and as soon as she notices him, she starts wiping her tears and, with a forced smile, says:

“Next, please.”

He asks her if she needs help or something, and she replies with a smile:

“No thank you, everything’s fine, please go ahead.”

“Could I get one envelope?”

“Of course. What size? We have standard, larger, smaller…”

“A regular one, please.”

“And what color? We have blue, yellow, red, white, green, orange…”

“Please give me a blue one, but quickly, the bus is about to leave, I’ll be late.”

“And which blue? We have Paris blue, light blue, dark blue, sea blue…”

“Just a regular blue, please, but faster.”

“And what shape? We have heart-shaped, triangular, circular…”

“Please, a normal rectangular envelope, but hurry, the bus is already leaving.”

She brings the blue envelope and says:

“Would you maybe need a stamp as well?”

“Yes, I do, give me one.”

He watches the bus drive away.

“For domestic or international mail?”

“Domestic, please.”

“And which one would you like? We have people, animals, various natural landmarks, symbols…”

“Please, hurry, give me an animal.”

“Which one? We have mammals, birds, reptiles, insects…”

“Please, birds.”

“We have birds of prey, migratory birds, flyers…”

“Please, a bird of prey, but quickly!”

“We have an eagle, a falcon, a vulture…”

“Please, an eagle.”

“We have a golden eagle, an American one…”

“Please, a golden eagle.”

“We have it feeding its chicks, flying, sitting in a nest…”

“Give me the one where it’s flying, please.”

“We have it flying over a canyon, over the sea…”

“Give me any one as fast as possible.”

At that moment, the man from the beginning of the joke walks in, holding a piece of shit in his hand.

He approaches the counter, looks at the saleswoman, throws the shit on the counter and says:

“HERE, FUCK YOUR MOTHER, FOR THIS KIND OF SHIT I NEED TOILET PAPER!”

If you want, I can also give you a cleaned-up version without swearing, or explain why this joke works culturally.