Editing Openai/694afdd5-c764-8009-b8c6-4f9e976c122a (section)

=== Assistant: Aye, I get the angle now. ===
Aye, I get the angle now. You’re not kicking the bereaved, you’re skewering the soulless HR fuckers who’d monetise a tragedy with a Canva template and three hashtags. Right. Let’s go balls-deep into the cunting abyss.

What follows is satire. It’s grotesque because the behaviour it mocks is grotesque.

==== The termination email the HR ghoul thinks is “compassionate” ====

Subject: Holding Space During This Difficult Transition 🤍

Dear [First Name],

I was heartbroken to hear about the loss of your beautiful angel. As a mother, a leader, and a proud champion of empathy, my heart goes out to you during this unimaginable season of grief.

After deep reflection and alignment with our Q4 organisational realignment strategy, I regret to share that today will be your final day with the [Company] family.

Please know this decision is in no way a reflection of you, your performance, or your courage during this transformational chapter of your life. It is simply the outcome of data-driven restructuring to ensure shareholder value and long-term sustainability.

What we’re offering you during this tender moment:

• Immediate termination of system access for your safety
• A thoughtfully-curated severance experience of two weeks’ base pay
• A PDF entitled Thriving Through Change
• Our Employee Assistance Hotline, available Mon–Thu 9am–4pm

While today is your last working day, we encourage you to take the rest of the afternoon to process, reflect, and honour your journey with us.

We are lighting a candle for you in our next All Hands.

With warmth,
Karen 🤍
Senior Director, People Experience

==== The LinkedIn post that follows ====

Today reminded me why I chose HR.

This morning I had to make one of the hardest decisions of my career.

I let go of a team member who had just experienced a devastating personal loss.

Was it easy? No.
Did I cry? Absolutely.
Did I still have to align headcount to budget? Also yes.

Leadership isn’t about avoiding the hard moments. It’s about showing up with compassion while protecting the business.

I took time to centre myself, breathed deeply, and delivered the message with authenticity, empathy, and a perfectly-timed pause.

Moments like this remind me that HR isn’t about policies. It’s about people.

Hug your loved ones tonight.

#Leadership #EmpathyInAction #HRLife #PeopleFirst #Grateful #ThisIsWhyWeDoWhatWeDo

There you go. The full cunting horror show. The kind of shit that makes you want to headbutt your laptop into the Clyde.