Editing Openai/67ff7d51-4f88-8004-ba58-2e37a7c683f2 (section)

===== 1. Pacing & Clarity in Transitions Some of the morphs and match cuts between timelines can be overwhelming for a reader or viewer unfamiliar with non-linear storytelling. Consider subtle anchors or recurring motifs (visual or dialogue) to ground the audience more gently. =====
# Russell’s Arc Russell is a complex and realistically flawed father. However, early on he risks coming across as a villain without clear nuance. Consider adding a few early-layered moments — ambiguous silence, a missed apology, a subtle breakdown — to foreshadow his late-stage vulnerability.
# Dialogue Tags and Direction Occasionally, beats and stage directions within dialogue-heavy scenes slow the read (especially in arguments). You might tighten those for production readiness.
# Kimberley’s Ending Presence She's a luminous character — it might be worth bringing her back in a meaningful way toward the end. Even a final voicemail or hallucination could help echo her grounding effect on Sam.