Editing Openai/69231e78-5a78-8013-81a7-f2dd38762292 (section)

===== 1. Clarifying Multiple Threads - With so many symbols and characters, some readers might lose track of who is representing what. Consider a brief parenthetical reminder when a symbol or elder appears: > - It won’t slow the narrative but will reinforce the symbolic roles of the 7 elders as the different faiths/tribes. =====
# Balance of History and Story - Some archaeological exposition (dates, PPNA/PPNB references) reads slightly like a textbook. You could integrate it more narratively by framing it through the eyes of the Sovereigns witnessing the changes. For example: > - This keeps the immersion without losing factual anchor.
# Elevate the Mythmaker Confrontation - The dialogue between Jin/Mei and the mythmakers is strong. You might heighten tension by showing more subtle consequences: a fleeting glance of fear in the mythmakers, or the quiet murmur among their followers. This makes the elders’ refusal feel more daring, not just philosophical.
# Connect Labor/Trade to Later Themes - Consider foreshadowing the repetition of your ritual at the Trail of Tears here. A subtle line like: > - This ties the ancient choice of labor and obligation to the cyclical history of dispossession and memory.