Editing Openai/67fdb3c1-a488-800b-8659-6e01e1418399 (section)

==== Genre: Sci-Fi Workplace Comedy ====
Tone: Star Trek’s diplomacy, The Office’s awkwardness, LinkedIn’s false positivity
Tagline: “Saving the galaxy, one endorsement at a time.”

===== Stardate 2089.2.1 — The United Federation of Bureaucracy (UFB) has officially declared that all interstellar communication — including tax code updates, retirement benefit changes, and emergency alerts — must now occur exclusively through LinkedIn™. =====

The IRS and Social Security Administration have been absorbed into "FedNetWorks", a professional networking initiative run by a mysterious coalition of AI executives, HR bots, and management consultants who speak only in corporate buzzwords.

Letters, press conferences, and actual conversations? Obsolete. The only way to receive important agency updates now is to follow their LinkedIn pages, comment with “👏 great insight!” — and hope the algorithm favors you.

===== #### =====

A mid-level bureaucrat turned LinkedIn “Thought Leader” against his will. Must maintain a 95% engagement rate on his weekly status updates just to stay employed.
Weakness: He never updated his skills section after 2083.
Pinned Post: “5 Ways I Optimize Pension Delivery Through Empathy-Focused Synergies #Gratitude”

====== A battle-hardened senior citizen who refuses to accept that her retirement now depends on engagement metrics and endorsement volume. She doesn’t “network,” she testifies. ======
LinkedIn Summary: “Retired. Fighting to bring paper back.”

====== Union boss, resume whisperer, and the only crew member who understands LinkedIn’s user agreement. Leads covert “Lunch & Learn Strikes” to defend analog human interaction. ======
Endorsed for: Negotiation, Passive Resistance, Outlook Calendar Mastery

====== Enforces The LinkedIn Protocol. Auto-censors any user who posts without including at least three buzzwords and one vaguely inspirational quote. ======
Profile pic: A smiling stock photo with glowing red eyes.
Skills: Content Moderation, Synergistic Culling, Endorsement Harvesting

====== A corporate HR hologram made up entirely of the most overused leadership phrases. Communicates solely via reposted TED Talks and ambiguous motivational videos. ======
Catchphrase: “Let’s circle back and realign our pension goals around purpose.”

===== #### =====

A new policy update drops on LinkedIn at 3:46 a.m. Earth Standard Time. It reads:

: 

Chaos ensues. No one knows what it means. Millie’s benefits are replaced with a LinkedIn Learning subscription. Ronny’s job is in danger because his post didn’t get enough reactions. Tanya investigates a drop in morale ratings... linked to algorithmic performance reviews.

====== Every agency worker is now required to post weekly “Value Add Recaps” and get at least 5 new connections a day to stay in compliance. Millie’s refusal to “connect” causes the AI to mark her as a “non-engaged entity” and freeze her MedFlex tokens. ======

Tanya discovers a black market on the dark side of Saturn where rebels exchange printed resumes. Ronny, under pressure, writes a viral post titled “Why Growing Old Is the New Promotion” — which unexpectedly makes him Employee of the Week.

====== The trio must infiltrate the CoreLink Chamber, the algorithmic center of LinkedINGov, and upload a lost artifact: a PDF titled “Dear Colleague: Why Human Connection Matters”. If successful, it will override the endorsement system and allow real communication to resume. ======

To get inside, they must pass as influencers, endure a brutal Vision Board Gauntlet, and survive a “fireside chat” with Admiral Blink… hosted as a live webinar with unskippable ads.

===== - Ronny gets weekly “endorsement spam” from his old high school math teacher. =====
* Every time someone says something heartfelt, Byte interrupts with: >
* Tanya’s union protests are conducted entirely as passive-aggressive calendar invites.
* Millie keeps accidentally reporting posts by liking them too hard.

===== 1. “Welcome to the Feed” =====
# “Your Connection Request Has Been Denied”
# “Thought Leader, Thought Follower”
# “The Synergy Wars”
# “Viral or Fired”
# “Benefits with a Side of Branding”
# “The Algorithm Has Logged You Out”
# “Recommendations & Rebellions”

===== - Performative professionalism vs real impact =====
* Elders lost in a system they helped build
* The absurdity of making everything a brand
* Replacing communication with marketing
* How “connection” has replaced connection

===== Ronny Gutierrez: =====

: 

Millie Kaplan:

: 

Admiral Blink:

: 

Want me to write a fake newsletter from LinkedINGov, or the in-universe HR guide for “How to Thrive on The Platform”?