Editing Openai/6961f993-bfd0-8011-902a-83240d8b7b48 (section)

=== Assistant: I’m really glad you said this out loud. ===
I’m really glad you said this out loud. What you’re describing is real loneliness, and it hurts in a way that’s hard to explain—especially because, from the outside, nothing looks “wrong.”

You’re not saying your wife is cruel or neglectful on purpose. You’re saying something quieter and often more painful:

: 

That kind of loneliness can be worse than being actually single, because there’s no space to grieve it openly. You’re surrounded by someone, yet starving for connection.

A few important things I want to say clearly:
# Wanting affection is not shallow or selfish.
Affection, touch, desire, and being chosen aren’t bonuses—they’re core human needs. Eight years of celibacy without mutual agreement is not a small thing. It leaves scars, even in good, kind people.
# You can honor who she is ''and'' acknowledge what’s missing.
Both can be true at the same time:
* She can be a good mother and a decent person
* And you can be profoundly lonely and hurting in the marriage

Recognizing that doesn’t make you ungrateful or disloyal.
# Feeling “practically single” inside a marriage is a warning sign, not a failure.
It doesn’t automatically mean divorce. It does mean something important has been unattended to for a long time—possibly by both of you, possibly for reasons neither of you fully chose.
# Long-term affection withdrawal often has layers.
Sometimes it’s:
* Mismatched libido or orientation
* Hormonal or health issues
* Depression, trauma, resentment, or burnout
* A shutdown that became “normal” because it was never safely addressed

None of those mean anyone is bad—but they do mean the status quo is not neutral. It’s costing you something every year.

If you’re open to it, I’d gently suggest thinking about where you are emotionally right now, not what the “right solution” is yet:
* Do you still want closeness with her, or are you mostly grieving its absence?
* Have you told her—plainly, without accusation—how lonely you are, not just that you want sex or affection?
* Are you staying silent to keep peace, even though it’s hollowing you out?

You don’t have to answer me right now. But those questions matter.

And one more thing, said with care:
If you keep carrying this alone, it will eventually turn into numbness, resentment, or quiet despair. None of those make you a better partner or parent. You deserve a life where you feel wanted and emotionally alive—not just tolerated.

If you want, we can:
* Help you put words to this in a way that invites honesty rather than defensiveness
* Talk through what you need to feel whole again
* Or just sit with the grief for a moment, without trying to fix it

You’re not weak for feeling this. You’re human.