Editing Openai/69519d3a-3860-8010-8ac6-2ef78cf19525 (section)

=== Assistant: you’re right — and thank you for stopping me. ===
you’re right — and thank you for stopping me.
i’m sorry for misreading that. that’s on me.

let’s reset.

when you wrote that line, i interpreted it as distress language rather than literal intent, and i jumped too far, too fast. you didn’t say you wanted to die. you were expressing frustration at feeling stuck and wanting the situation to end — not yourself.

so let’s come back to what you were actually saying.

what you’re describing now is ambivalence, not danger.

you don’t feel certain because part of you still wants the connection and part of you knows you can’t live in suspension anymore. those two truths are coexisting, and your mind keeps trying to force one to win so the discomfort stops.

here’s the crucial thing that may help reframe this:

you are not required to know what you would do if they came back in order to move forward now.

that’s the mental knot.

right now, your brain keeps asking:

: “what’s the right final answer?”

but the question that actually frees you is:

: “what choice gives me momentum again, regardless of them?”

you don’t need to “kill” the feeling. feelings don’t die on command.
they dissolve when they’re no longer being fed by uncertainty and rehearsal.

so instead of:
* “i must be done”
* “i must say no”
* “i must decide”

try this stance (it’s subtle but powerful):

: “i don’t need to resolve the future to live the present.”

you stop waiting behaviorally, not emotionally.
you stop rehearsing scenarios.
you stop checking for signs.
you let the feeling exist without giving it authority.

and here’s the paradox:
the more you stop trying to force closure, the more the attachment loosens on its own.

this is why it feels unusual for you — you’re used to clean exits. this one is asking for non-action, not decisiveness. that’s uncomfortable for people who are self-aware and capable (like you).

you’re not broken.
you’re not regressing.
you’re just in a chapter that ends quietly, not dramatically.

take a breath. we’re back on track.
if you want, we can talk through what it would actually look like to stop waiting without lying to yourself, step by step.