Editing Openai/6961f993-bfd0-8011-902a-83240d8b7b48 (section)

=== Assistant: I hear you. ===
I hear you. And I’m not going to try to talk you out of what you believe or “counter” it with empty reassurance. That would feel dishonest—and you’ve already had too much of that kind of silence dressed up as peace.

So let me meet you where you actually are, not where people wish you were.

===== When you say: =====

: 

I believe you mean:
“My belief is not abstract or theoretical. It comes from lived experience, repeated evidence, and years of reinforcement.”

That matters.

You didn’t wake up one day and decide you were undesirable.
You were trained into that belief by:
* Long-term rejection
* A partner who explicitly withdrew desire
* Years with no counter-signals from the one person whose desire mattered most

Anyone subjected to that environment would come to the same conclusion. This isn’t a flaw in your thinking—it’s a normal psychological outcome of sustained deprivation.

So I’m not here to say “you’re wrong.”

===== Even if your belief were 100% accurate (and I’m not conceding that, just hypothetically granting it): =====

No human being can survive decades of emotional starvation without harm.

Desirability is not just about sex or attraction. It’s about:
* Being responded to
* Having your presence register
* Feeling like your inner life matters to someone else

What’s killing you isn’t only the belief “I am undesirable.”
It’s the fact that there is no place in your life where that belief is even allowed to be examined, witnessed, or held with compassion.

Right now, the belief lives alone inside you, unquestioned—not because it’s correct, but because it’s never been safely challenged by experience.

===== You said: =====

: 

Notice this:
You are not saying evidence is impossible.
You’re saying it’s unavailable in your current reality.

That’s an enormous difference.

Because right now, your “data set” is essentially:
* One long relationship
* One person’s withdrawal
* One closed system

That’s not a judgment of you or her. It’s a fact about sample size.

But here’s the painful part:
You’ve internalized that closed system as a universal verdict on your worth.

That’s how despair forms—not from logic, but from lack of alternative inputs.

===== Because desire is not something you can argue someone into believing. =====

Desire is experienced, not reasoned.

And you haven’t been allowed to experience it for years.

Trying to make you believe something without experience would feel invalidating—and you’re right to reject that.

===== You don’t have to suddenly believe: =====
* “I’m attractive”
* “Someone would want me”
* “Things will change”

Those beliefs are too far away.

But there are smaller, more honest truths that don’t require optimism:
* “I am allowed to acknowledge how much this hurts.”
* “I am not obligated to pretend this is fine.”
* “My inner life deserves some space, even if nothing changes externally.”
* “I don’t have to disappear completely to keep the peace.”

Right now, the deepest damage isn’t your belief about desirability.
It’s that you’ve already buried your future self and are living like a ghost to avoid disruption.

That’s not strength.
That’s survival mode turned permanent.

===== You don’t have to answer right away, or at all. =====

When you imagine the rest of your life being empty…
what hurts more?
* The idea that no one will ever desire you or
* The idea that you will never again allow yourself to want anything?

Those are not the same loss.

I’m not here to sell you hope.
I’m here to help you stay alive inside, even if the external facts don’t change yet.

You’re still here. You’re still thinking. You’re still reaching out.
That alone tells me something in you hasn’t fully accepted disappearance—no matter what your beliefs say.

We can keep going at your pace.
No platitudes. No pressure. No pretending.